(Alexa, set timer for 5 minutes!)
Two weeks back, i could feel myself beginning to sink into the all too familiar pit of doom and darkness. Life patterns have generally taught me that sinking into sadness is not necessarily i recognize in my brain, but my actions. I begin to sleep more, get headaches, feel that dark cloud looming over my head, or get this feeling of DREAD for everything and nothing. Contrary to the previous falls into this pit of doom, I could find no impetus that pushed me to it. Probably, it is just the monotony of life. Or the pandemic exhaustion. I could not tell what it is. As such, it was all the more too difficult to acutely solve one thing.
When I fall into this pattern of behavior, I know too well that the antidote is ACTION, more than introspection. This is especially because I am really an introspective person, but too much introspection can be a shovel that pushes me further into the pit of doom. I then launch into actions that I know would help me feel better with repetition: not take on more tasks, sleep early, call friends, meet friends, exercise, light scented candles. Even if I don't want to.
One of the go to's I have is my special bestie "girl friend SAFM". He has been really being very supportive, meeting me once a week for two weeks in a row now, while we commiserate about the agonies of life, accept the ebbing and flowing of these feelings, recall the times when i did say "I am in a good place!", remind ourselves that the good place will somehow find its way back into our daily lives, and that when we do, we still have the poor sense of falling back to the pit. Cycle repeats.
But in a comforting way, SAFM mutters, "at least walang nag kakasakit." And he is right.
In the meantime, until I reach this proverbial good place again, this exchange between us has been happening over and over when we gobble up our paella with chorizo, calamares rebosado, croquetas and bread dolloped with olive oil and tomato salsa topped with manchego cheese, and drink our sangria and apple cider, while opening his box of a newly purchased red and yellow batman 7 inch action figure.
"Hindi ka ba nalulungkot?"
"Nalulungkot!"
"So anong ginagawa mo pag nalulungkot ka?"
"Write!"
So here I am, as per SAFM's recommendation, writing.
I now add into my "get out of my depression pit action list" the act of writing five minutes a day.
(Alexa Alarms: 5 minutes done!)
Here we go.
