It was a Monday. As decreed by the foursome representative who is left in the US, Misty, the three Philippine Chapter Foursome Members are to have a routine meal together to update. However, as real life always gets in the way, this was not to be so one Monday Evening.
SMS at 8pm: JPL, Frazzled Cook.
8-10pm: Smoketh and Dick Van Derick eating large pork stuffs while rambling words non stop for 2 hours, almost not breathing.
10 pm on the way home to the QC Alliance hall, we get a call. JPL was just out of the ICU seeing three toxic patients all the way from the province of SAFM! As such meet-ups were impossible. And the Miss Universe Award for Buzy-bee-ness went to JPL!
To celebrate Buzybee-ness and our Brilliance, but of course! But of course we must come up with a haiku in a span of less than 10 minutes en route home! (this is in honor of you, SAFM)
Credits to JPL:
Buzy-bee
Togetherness we?
Cannot be, oh buzzee bee…
Busy, buzzeeee bee!
Yoda-inspired, think, do you? :)
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Compass of Life
There are many times in life, again and again, that i find myself depressed. Confused that i don't know which direction to take. Or always questioning myself: Is this the life that I was meant to live. When my head becomes murky like that, it is my mind's private signal that i have to pause, take a step back, process with friends and possibly take a vacation or write. Write, write, write. After this purging of murkiness, usually my mind ends up as clear as a bright day when i affirm and reaffirm that these are my life priorities. And these are the things I should follow the order of. All decisions will come from this hierarchy:
1. God.
2. Family relationships.
3. Friend and Patient relationships.
4. Arts: Choir, Music, Dancing and Fitness
5. Hopefully, hopefully, money will follow!
Note: this post is to serve as a reminder in times of future murkiness. :)
1. God.
2. Family relationships.
3. Friend and Patient relationships.
4. Arts: Choir, Music, Dancing and Fitness
5. Hopefully, hopefully, money will follow!
Note: this post is to serve as a reminder in times of future murkiness. :)
Teacher Smoketh
This is an excerpt from my school essay on Psychology and Philosophy of Teaching. Deadline was 12 midnight, started at 1144 pm, with no edits, no read backs, no corrections. Cramming at its finest. And yes, i was able to submit with with 6 more minutes to go!
Teaching:
An Art, or a Science?
Why
I Became A Teacher
How
do I choose what to teach and how do I do it?
When I look back and try to understand what
made be become a teacher, it is all a blur.
However, I can trace teaching as far back to my great grand parents on
both sides. My maternal grandfather was
a school superintendent who travelled across the Philippines. My paternal grandfather was a teacher in the
UP College of Medicine, as were all his children. I believe that it is part of our blood, as my
sister and I are teachers. However, I
think that my mother was a very important influence to me. Though not a professional teacher, she would
go into imparting knowledge in such a step-by-step and systematic manner daily
from our youth that it was what I grew up with.
Early on, I believed that teaching was more
of an Art. Besides, no one formally
taught me how to teach, but I saw myself doing it in different situations as I
was growing up: teaching music to my classmates in song fests, encouraging my
classmates who were lagging behind in quarterly exams, tutoring kids from
public schools when I was in high school.
In these settings, I often got feedback that I always made it easier for
them to understand things. This is
largely in part because of my persistence.
The more I did it, the more natural it
became to me. As such, after college, I
taught in my high school as a second year science teacher even without any
subjects in education. However, after a
year, I found myself going into medicine.
I always reasoned out that I could teach anywhere, even as a
doctor. However, if I gave my life to
teaching as a profession early, then I would not be able to become a
doctor. This became a passion in my
life.
With the two vocations, teaching and
medicine, merging into each other, I realized that the two were very
similar. As such, I believe that my
heart was into teaching. However, after
completing my clinical training, I found it necessary to learn more about how
to impart what I have learned in medicine.
Upon entering graduate school, I was pleasantly surprised and challenged
that teaching is also a science. There
is a system to everything: test making, curriculum planning! All the things I did before in a whim had a
system. As such, I conclude that
teaching is a combination of an art and a science. I have grown so slowly into it that I know
teaching will always be an integral part of my life. And I enjoy it!
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Forging Ahead Through 2017
Yesterday, I got a viber message from a friend of mine, Ms G4. She was interested in starting a blog as inspired by other friend, Aggiedala. Aggiedala makes it a habit to evaluate her past year, sent a link to us which all got our creative juices flowing.
Back to the viber message of Ms G4. She was thoughtfully asking for a title for a blog. That got me all excited. I dug deep into my brain trying to come up with a title that would best describe her current phase in life, along with the life goal I imagined she had in coming up with her blog.
And there you have it. I stopped with BENEATH THE CRACKS. That was perfect. For her. For me. And for any writer, I suppose, trying to share some deep part of her.
At lunch today, Ms G4, Pseudomoney and I met up. And I have shared this thought:
I find that writing is a necessary outcome that one has in the midst of change, sorrow, transition or challenges. And i was pleasantly surprised on looking back that i have not had one single entry in 2016. However, upon reading the blogs that I had written both as my nega alter ego suckitupeth and my posi alter ego thenewmesucksitup, I find myself in deep regret because I had not written more. The blogs were so good!
Maybe the position of happiness and contentment was less of an impetus to write. Maybe the absence of the struggle made me wrestle less with my thoughts whether in my head, on paper, or on the computer screen. It is a waste, though. To not write!
Many of our experiences usually sink in the amnesic abyss of forgetfulness, especially when one dives into an adulthood with so many concerns. Pure things are buried. And these things can be brought to the surface and become indelible in our minds when we are reminded from our previous entries. The previous entries, more than anything, made me look back to my old me. And i do with much fondness. I laughed while in my current age, I laughed remembering i was at the age i wrote the blog!
That is why (after that very long segue), i will now rise up to the challenge of Aggiedala. I will review my 2016. :) https://aggiedala.wordpress.com/2016/12/31/the-2016-year-end-survey/
What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before? Created a painting. Yes, it was lunch at sip and gogh, but given my grades in art in high school, i never thought i would do it!
I always loved the painting starry starry night by van gogh. This is my interpretation. This painting is the only one hanging on my wall in my bedroom. When i open my eyes first thing in the morning, it is the first thing i see. It inspires me. When i feel like withdrawing, I imagine jumping into the canvass.
I always remember and value this quote from the restaurant: if you hear a voice inside you say you cannot paint, paint and that voice will be silenced. -sip and gogh.
i hope this is also true for music, cooking, relationships and vocation.
Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for the next year?
In 2015, my word for the year was exercise. I was unlocked. I wanted to build on this the next year.
In 2016, my desired word for the year was declutter. I had hoped to add this over and above exercise, but i regressed in exercise. Decluttering was done, but incompletely so. (friends would know why this is a seemingly impossible task, but one has to keep at it!) As an outcome, my achieved theme for 2016 is MAXIMAL FLEXIBILITY AND ACCEPTANCE.
yes, i intend to make more for 2017. My word for the year is CLEAN. Cleaner house, clean living, clean room, clean diet, clean goals and priorities. Specific resolutions are as follows:
1. drink 10 glasses of water a day.
2. exercise 3x a week starting second week of January 2017 until december.
3. sing with a group weekly for the entire year.
4. dance once a week for myself.
5. read the Bible daily.
Did anyone close to you get married? I can't remember anyone.
Give Birth? Oh yes! Queenie and Chepoy off the top of my head.
Passed Away? Not close, but was deeply affected by the death of Carrie Fisher.
What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Routine habitual exercise and Chorva.
Which dates from 2016 remain etched upon your memory and why?
September 12, because this is the birthday of a previously close friend, a current constant close friend, and this was the day of freedom for a co-competitor.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
The gift of forgiveness, resilience, maximum flexibility and acceptance.
Spending time with people who really matter to me.
Traveling and Jet-setting alone and comfortably, where i made new acquaintances!
What was your biggest failure?
Just going out on one date for the year.
And the fact that i let myself go. 2015 heralded a break through year for me in terms of physical fitness and strength. However, in 2016, I was less consistent and I believe i have surpassed by baseline. This is something I MUST change this 2017! To love myself first in order to have more capacity to love others more.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Attacks of vertigo. My car suffered injuries!
Even though my knee injury happened in 2012, I always remember it to this day because every time I kneel in church, I am grateful I am able to do it. I remember a six week period i could not kneel because I had bad knees.
Atopic Dermatitis is a companion I constantly have.
What was the best thing you bought?
SPOTIFY SUBSCRIPTION!
Avi Avanza and Conrad the Condo! I literally had nauseous attacks when i signed the loan papers from both. But i survived the first year for both!
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Ms G4. Beneath the cracks, she remains beautiful and one with the Lord.
SAFM. Stalkerella recipient worth OVER 9 MILLION!
Where did most of your money go?
Investment: Avi, Condo and Insurance. Okay fine, also dining out with friends.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The reopening of Plana Forma!
and...
Singing with a group again: Pansol Choir of the Sta. Maria della Strada Parish.
I always sang in a choir ever since I could remember. The earliest days were in grade school when I would sing in Sta. Maria della Strada Parish. In high school, I joined the liturgical choir. In college, i sang occasionally with organization choirs. It was in medical school that the routine, accomplishments, travel and passion became cemented in me. I never thought I would ever have an opportunity to sing again after medical school, especially since I have already visited Europe, China and the US because of singing.
I consciously closed that chapter of my life and counted myself lucky that I was able to have the opportunities I had with the UPMedChoir.
However, my subconscious would not agree. (Enter Carl Jung's Collective Consciousness!) After having been on hiatus since 2012, I found that the voice of music inside me would not be silenced. The desire to sing could not be contained by any other means. It was December 25, 2015, after the 1030 am Mass that I heard a voice in my head say, "Approach the choir loft!" And so I did. And the rest is history.
I was very hesitant to follow that voice, mind you. I was well aware of the time and commitment chorale singing demands of a person. And I felt I am a far different person in 2016 than I was in 2001 when I joined MedChoir. In the few seconds that it took to reach the loft, I had a conversation with God, saying, "Lord, I just really want to sing. And honestly, this is not even about serving. I just really want to sing. However, I choose to prioritize my life as follows: God, Family, Friends and Patients, Choir." And that has been my mantra ever since.
Events after that voice speaking in my head leading up to my current state of soliciting donations for our choir to sing this July in Bali for a Chorale Competition (yes, please help us pay it forward, support us please!) and regularly practicing have been nothing short of miraculous. And for another blog! And it is this that keeps me excited until today. Singing with a group. Harmonizing. And training under a master. :)
What song will always remind you of 2017?
Thinking out Loud. Because it reminds me of Plana Forma.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA&index=99&list=PL9NY5axt700HTnrruVA6gTgcd8lOczZkM
Compared to this time last year, are you…
Happier or Sadder? Definitely happier. Things have been looking up since 2011.
Thinner or Fatter? Okay, fine. Fatter. That causes me to be a bit sadder. A bit lang.
Richer or Poorer? Definitely richer.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Read the Bible, Exercise, Blog, Yoga, Zumba, Travel.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sleep late, worry, bad habits, procrastination.
How did you spend Christmas?
It was a fun Christmas. From November 22, 2016 onwards, I felt very full of the Christmas Spirit because of all the caroling we were doing in the choir. Christmas Eve was very special because it was the first time I attended the Christmas Eve Mass and we sang. On Christmas Day, our choir sang in two masses. At night time, we had the Lardizabal Reunion in the house. It was fun. The more exciting thing was creating a repeat on February for which I am very excited!
Did you fall in love in 2017?
Yes, not intensely, but yes. :)
What was your favorite TV program?
Yes to the Dress?
What was the best book you read?
Most definitely…When we really delve into the reasons for why we can't let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or fear of the future. - Marie Kondo
What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Kristin Chenoweth. Her album Coming Home.
How did you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Jeans, Black, Fit flops, No make-up. Must change fashion sense to become more doctorly in 2017.
What did you want and get?
Avi Avanza.
What did you want and not get?
My ideal body weight. A change in status.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Dr. Strange
What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I don't remember. So, I will check my iPhone, Facebook, Instagram and Calendar which said…
I arrived from the US in July 10.
I had lunch with Van in July 14.
I remember I had pizza with Pansol Choir that week.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Maybe a change in status? ;) And more massages. :)
What kept you sane?
Most definitely God through bible study, friends and biological sisterhood.
Which celebrity / public feature did you fancy the most?
Pia Wurtzbach. I was doing rounds while trying to make sense of the most confusing Miss Universe Pageant across different hospital rooms while doing rounds. One minute, there was one Miss Universe, the next minute, it was someone else!
Who did you miss?
SMF friends SAFM, Richmond, BOTD and HTGOF. And Ate Bi and Pingol Fantastic Four!
Who was the best new person you met?
Pam Mancio. I don't know why, but she inspires me. :)
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Maximum flexibility, Maximum Acceptance.
Just because you aren't all together as a family doesn't make you less of one.
Aggiedala, I don't know how to tag people! I must learn this art of pingback-ing this 2017!
May 2017 bring a year of improvement from the previous year!
Back to the viber message of Ms G4. She was thoughtfully asking for a title for a blog. That got me all excited. I dug deep into my brain trying to come up with a title that would best describe her current phase in life, along with the life goal I imagined she had in coming up with her blog.
At lunch today, Ms G4, Pseudomoney and I met up. And I have shared this thought:
I find that writing is a necessary outcome that one has in the midst of change, sorrow, transition or challenges. And i was pleasantly surprised on looking back that i have not had one single entry in 2016. However, upon reading the blogs that I had written both as my nega alter ego suckitupeth and my posi alter ego thenewmesucksitup, I find myself in deep regret because I had not written more. The blogs were so good!
Maybe the position of happiness and contentment was less of an impetus to write. Maybe the absence of the struggle made me wrestle less with my thoughts whether in my head, on paper, or on the computer screen. It is a waste, though. To not write!
Many of our experiences usually sink in the amnesic abyss of forgetfulness, especially when one dives into an adulthood with so many concerns. Pure things are buried. And these things can be brought to the surface and become indelible in our minds when we are reminded from our previous entries. The previous entries, more than anything, made me look back to my old me. And i do with much fondness. I laughed while in my current age, I laughed remembering i was at the age i wrote the blog!
That is why (after that very long segue), i will now rise up to the challenge of Aggiedala. I will review my 2016. :) https://aggiedala.wordpress.com/2016/12/31/the-2016-year-end-survey/
What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before? Created a painting. Yes, it was lunch at sip and gogh, but given my grades in art in high school, i never thought i would do it!
I always remember and value this quote from the restaurant: if you hear a voice inside you say you cannot paint, paint and that voice will be silenced. -sip and gogh.
i hope this is also true for music, cooking, relationships and vocation.
Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for the next year?
In 2015, my word for the year was exercise. I was unlocked. I wanted to build on this the next year.
In 2016, my desired word for the year was declutter. I had hoped to add this over and above exercise, but i regressed in exercise. Decluttering was done, but incompletely so. (friends would know why this is a seemingly impossible task, but one has to keep at it!) As an outcome, my achieved theme for 2016 is MAXIMAL FLEXIBILITY AND ACCEPTANCE.
yes, i intend to make more for 2017. My word for the year is CLEAN. Cleaner house, clean living, clean room, clean diet, clean goals and priorities. Specific resolutions are as follows:
1. drink 10 glasses of water a day.
2. exercise 3x a week starting second week of January 2017 until december.
3. sing with a group weekly for the entire year.
4. dance once a week for myself.
5. read the Bible daily.
Did anyone close to you get married? I can't remember anyone.
Give Birth? Oh yes! Queenie and Chepoy off the top of my head.
Passed Away? Not close, but was deeply affected by the death of Carrie Fisher.
What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Routine habitual exercise and Chorva.
Which dates from 2016 remain etched upon your memory and why?
September 12, because this is the birthday of a previously close friend, a current constant close friend, and this was the day of freedom for a co-competitor.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
The gift of forgiveness, resilience, maximum flexibility and acceptance.
Spending time with people who really matter to me.
Traveling and Jet-setting alone and comfortably, where i made new acquaintances!
What was your biggest failure?
Just going out on one date for the year.
And the fact that i let myself go. 2015 heralded a break through year for me in terms of physical fitness and strength. However, in 2016, I was less consistent and I believe i have surpassed by baseline. This is something I MUST change this 2017! To love myself first in order to have more capacity to love others more.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Attacks of vertigo. My car suffered injuries!
Even though my knee injury happened in 2012, I always remember it to this day because every time I kneel in church, I am grateful I am able to do it. I remember a six week period i could not kneel because I had bad knees.
Atopic Dermatitis is a companion I constantly have.
What was the best thing you bought?
SPOTIFY SUBSCRIPTION!
Avi Avanza and Conrad the Condo! I literally had nauseous attacks when i signed the loan papers from both. But i survived the first year for both!
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Ms G4. Beneath the cracks, she remains beautiful and one with the Lord.
SAFM. Stalkerella recipient worth OVER 9 MILLION!
Where did most of your money go?
Investment: Avi, Condo and Insurance. Okay fine, also dining out with friends.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The reopening of Plana Forma!
and...
Singing with a group again: Pansol Choir of the Sta. Maria della Strada Parish.
I consciously closed that chapter of my life and counted myself lucky that I was able to have the opportunities I had with the UPMedChoir.
However, my subconscious would not agree. (Enter Carl Jung's Collective Consciousness!) After having been on hiatus since 2012, I found that the voice of music inside me would not be silenced. The desire to sing could not be contained by any other means. It was December 25, 2015, after the 1030 am Mass that I heard a voice in my head say, "Approach the choir loft!" And so I did. And the rest is history.
I was very hesitant to follow that voice, mind you. I was well aware of the time and commitment chorale singing demands of a person. And I felt I am a far different person in 2016 than I was in 2001 when I joined MedChoir. In the few seconds that it took to reach the loft, I had a conversation with God, saying, "Lord, I just really want to sing. And honestly, this is not even about serving. I just really want to sing. However, I choose to prioritize my life as follows: God, Family, Friends and Patients, Choir." And that has been my mantra ever since.
What song will always remind you of 2017?
Thinking out Loud. Because it reminds me of Plana Forma.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA&index=99&list=PL9NY5axt700HTnrruVA6gTgcd8lOczZkM
Compared to this time last year, are you…
Happier or Sadder? Definitely happier. Things have been looking up since 2011.
Thinner or Fatter? Okay, fine. Fatter. That causes me to be a bit sadder. A bit lang.
Richer or Poorer? Definitely richer.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Read the Bible, Exercise, Blog, Yoga, Zumba, Travel.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sleep late, worry, bad habits, procrastination.
How did you spend Christmas?
Did you fall in love in 2017?
Yes, not intensely, but yes. :)
What was your favorite TV program?
Yes to the Dress?
What was the best book you read?
Most definitely…When we really delve into the reasons for why we can't let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or fear of the future. - Marie Kondo
What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Kristin Chenoweth. Her album Coming Home.
How did you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Jeans, Black, Fit flops, No make-up. Must change fashion sense to become more doctorly in 2017.
Avi Avanza.
What did you want and not get?
My ideal body weight. A change in status.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Dr. Strange
What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I don't remember. So, I will check my iPhone, Facebook, Instagram and Calendar which said…
I arrived from the US in July 10.
I had lunch with Van in July 14.
I remember I had pizza with Pansol Choir that week.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Maybe a change in status? ;) And more massages. :)
What kept you sane?
Most definitely God through bible study, friends and biological sisterhood.
Which celebrity / public feature did you fancy the most?
Pia Wurtzbach. I was doing rounds while trying to make sense of the most confusing Miss Universe Pageant across different hospital rooms while doing rounds. One minute, there was one Miss Universe, the next minute, it was someone else!
Who did you miss?
SMF friends SAFM, Richmond, BOTD and HTGOF. And Ate Bi and Pingol Fantastic Four!
Who was the best new person you met?
Pam Mancio. I don't know why, but she inspires me. :)
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Maximum flexibility, Maximum Acceptance.
Just because you aren't all together as a family doesn't make you less of one.
Aggiedala, I don't know how to tag people! I must learn this art of pingback-ing this 2017!
May 2017 bring a year of improvement from the previous year!
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