Do you sometimes get the feeling of being in a good place that it scares you?
Do you get the feeling that things could finally be going right, and that you are the luckiest girl and the world? That everything, in all aspects of your life, are falling into place and moving in the right direction, without you working so hard to do it?
Do you feel that you have worked so long and hard to become that ideal person, that you are faking so hard to make it, and then one morning, you suddenly wake up and you ARE that ideal person without the effort. And you forgot what happened in between?
Do you feel like you spent such a long time waiting for that ideal moment, and suddenly when it seems to be here, all the time wasn't all that long, all the time waiting was worth it, because finally, it is here, and it is even better than you imagined it would be?
Do you ever find yourself so lost in your own thoughts with a goofy smile on your face, laughing to yourself, thinking yourself crazy, but being unable to stop that warm, fuzzy, feeling inside anyway?
Do you every get that warm feeling in your gut that you couldn't turn off, even if you tried?
Did you every have the time when you truly said and felt that I AM SO HAPPY, and that you can't remember the last time you even thought that to yourself?
I am so happy. I am so happy in my bubble, that I am scared in can burst into a zillion pieces, knowing that it possibly will... so I am just enjoying the moment.
Friday, April 27, 2018
Precious Nephro Moments
There are times in one's life when the moments are so precious that I just wish I could crystallise them, freeze-frame them into every DNA of my being and keep them forever.
Well, I can't so I guess the next best thing will be to write about them.
Tonight, we just concluded the 2018 Philippine Society of Nephrology Convention. What used to be an event that filled me with such dread and sucked all the energy out of me evolved throughout the last eight years.
This year, 2018, I saw it differently. It was no longer a task to be done, an event to be attended, or groups of mentors to greet and to give tribute to so that they would know of your involvement or presence. It was no longer a to list of all the singing, dancing performing because it was expected of you and you had to deliver or else shame would befall your chapter or your training institution.
I suppose how I view the convention now also reflected the change I saw in me.
I now see the convention as a means to meet and greet new friends, reunite with the old, and tell stories in a setting where there is optimum comfort, no judgement (okay fine, meron, but we don't judge the judgement anyway!). It is a time to genuinely get in touch with and connect with the people who have been like little lego blocks that contributed to the person that I am today.
I now see the convention as an outlet of the creativity and talent that would otherwise remain dormant when one is caught up in treating the patients. Sometimes, in the everyday world of medicine, the doctor tends to forget that he or she is also a person with creative juices flowing within. This creativity is squelched, or becomes dormant because of the need to be more logical and scientific in treating the patients. Because of the brief pause from clinical practice and the milieu of frustrated creativity or the pressure from friends, the various outlets like singing, dancing, photography, drawing, story telling comes out. Not because of necessity. But because of love. One is not limited to becoming a doctor. Being a doctor is just a part of the living, breathing persons we are. We are not limited to the science. We are science and art in one.
I now see the convention as time standing still to be spent with family members. Families at buffet breakfasts. Families with little kids swimming in the hotel pool. Families watching fellowship nights, watching their mothers model, cheering their fathers on for presidencies that were done, sons watching their mothers handle the logistics.
I now see the convention as an avenue for learning. This is true during the sessions, when one listens to the speakers, but also holds true for the various catch-ups, exchange of stories and experiences about patients, management and everything in between.
I now see the convention as a time to say thank you to all the people who have influenced us to change and grow, to figure out what is important, to redirect our path to align with our every changing priorities. It is also an opportunity to look back at what we were, appreciate it, and move on to what we will be.
Thank you colleagues and friends for the wonderful convention this year. I love being a nephrologist.
Well, I can't so I guess the next best thing will be to write about them.
Tonight, we just concluded the 2018 Philippine Society of Nephrology Convention. What used to be an event that filled me with such dread and sucked all the energy out of me evolved throughout the last eight years.
This year, 2018, I saw it differently. It was no longer a task to be done, an event to be attended, or groups of mentors to greet and to give tribute to so that they would know of your involvement or presence. It was no longer a to list of all the singing, dancing performing because it was expected of you and you had to deliver or else shame would befall your chapter or your training institution.
I suppose how I view the convention now also reflected the change I saw in me.
I now see the convention as a means to meet and greet new friends, reunite with the old, and tell stories in a setting where there is optimum comfort, no judgement (okay fine, meron, but we don't judge the judgement anyway!). It is a time to genuinely get in touch with and connect with the people who have been like little lego blocks that contributed to the person that I am today.
I now see the convention as an outlet of the creativity and talent that would otherwise remain dormant when one is caught up in treating the patients. Sometimes, in the everyday world of medicine, the doctor tends to forget that he or she is also a person with creative juices flowing within. This creativity is squelched, or becomes dormant because of the need to be more logical and scientific in treating the patients. Because of the brief pause from clinical practice and the milieu of frustrated creativity or the pressure from friends, the various outlets like singing, dancing, photography, drawing, story telling comes out. Not because of necessity. But because of love. One is not limited to becoming a doctor. Being a doctor is just a part of the living, breathing persons we are. We are not limited to the science. We are science and art in one.
I now see the convention as time standing still to be spent with family members. Families at buffet breakfasts. Families with little kids swimming in the hotel pool. Families watching fellowship nights, watching their mothers model, cheering their fathers on for presidencies that were done, sons watching their mothers handle the logistics.
I now see the convention as an avenue for learning. This is true during the sessions, when one listens to the speakers, but also holds true for the various catch-ups, exchange of stories and experiences about patients, management and everything in between.
I now see the convention as a time to say thank you to all the people who have influenced us to change and grow, to figure out what is important, to redirect our path to align with our every changing priorities. It is also an opportunity to look back at what we were, appreciate it, and move on to what we will be.
Thank you colleagues and friends for the wonderful convention this year. I love being a nephrologist.
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
The Entanglement of Gen Med RTDs
It’s been a long time since I attended a Gen Med RTD. I found that it is the disadvantage (or maybe an advantage !) of being in a government institution. Most often, I just attend nephro events which I find more intimate and more relevant in my life.
However, I was duped just this week when a very kind Med Rep (yes the recipe for disaster) persistently invited me to a nutrition symposium. Not thinking (yes, another ingredient for the recipe of disaster!), I was ready to say no because the venue was so far. The Med Rep, whom we shall kindly call Poy, smoothly replied that there would be transportations and that I would be billeted in makati Shang Rila hotel.
All my resolve to say no suddenly disappeared with her kindness and her billeted-ness. Given that I proceeded to make plans to invite SAFM, BOTD and hallokathy to my billetedness. We resolved to eat drink and be merry.
Little did I realize that the event fell on the same day as the PSN pre convention! Little did I realize that I needed to be at EDSA shang (not makati Shang!) post billeted-day to receive the PSN award (yes that for another post). Little did I realize hay this summit would entail around a thousand guests, that he pharmaceutical over-invites people, that I would be forced to sit through 5 lectures, and that I would have a toxic post cardiac surgery Icu patient that I would be managing via satellite q1 minute. Little did I know that I would still have to cram slides for a PSN meeting!
Lesson learned : wag na mag pa PO sa mga Gen Med RTD. Sayang sa time, sayang sa pagod.
Entanglements.
However, I was duped just this week when a very kind Med Rep (yes the recipe for disaster) persistently invited me to a nutrition symposium. Not thinking (yes, another ingredient for the recipe of disaster!), I was ready to say no because the venue was so far. The Med Rep, whom we shall kindly call Poy, smoothly replied that there would be transportations and that I would be billeted in makati Shang Rila hotel.
All my resolve to say no suddenly disappeared with her kindness and her billeted-ness. Given that I proceeded to make plans to invite SAFM, BOTD and hallokathy to my billetedness. We resolved to eat drink and be merry.
Little did I realize that the event fell on the same day as the PSN pre convention! Little did I realize that I needed to be at EDSA shang (not makati Shang!) post billeted-day to receive the PSN award (yes that for another post). Little did I realize hay this summit would entail around a thousand guests, that he pharmaceutical over-invites people, that I would be forced to sit through 5 lectures, and that I would have a toxic post cardiac surgery Icu patient that I would be managing via satellite q1 minute. Little did I know that I would still have to cram slides for a PSN meeting!
Lesson learned : wag na mag pa PO sa mga Gen Med RTD. Sayang sa time, sayang sa pagod.
Entanglements.
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