Mothers

September 8 marks the birthday of mama mary.  Now this has really impacted me given that i  graduated from a marian school named after mama mary.  We have no school on september 8.  

Many of my friends know that my mom and my maternal grandmother have played a very big role in my my life.  I always say that if can become half of what they were, i would be in good shape.  A such, even three years after their passing, i find myself still very affected when i remember both of them.  Its funny.  I used to think that adults who lose parents can handle it better than the children do.  I tok my losing my mom to go figure that this is not the case.

My mom played a very huge role in encouraging me to become a nephrologist.  I was exposed to the specialty.  But now, i find myself treating each of the patients, especially the 60-something diabetic females as i would my mom.   I guess i feel that the last 13 years of my life were spent more for m patient than my family, and this was the time that my mom got sick.  That time should have been devoted t my mom.  But by the time i was finished, it was too late and she was gone.  Call it compensation, call it guilt, call it love, call it service, call it whatever you like. People would think that i call my patients "mom" out of habit, but those patients, in one way or another, are really my moms. ;)

Treating each of the new patients as my mom.

Funny.  This truly came to the test for me seeing a patient for home visit today.  I got a referral for a home visit to a place near my village.  Of course i had to not reveal that i also lived in the same village so that the pf would not be discounted.

I found myself entering their beautiful home and eventually interacting with the daughter who could have been a few batches higher or lower than me in my alma mater.  Luckily for me, there was no flicker or recognition on their faces.

And then i saw her.  A very pretty lady in her 50s,  but it seemed like she wasn't there.  She was just a shell of a person.  Not laughing, not cryng, looking but not seeing. 

I went through the motions of the history and physical exam.  But all throughout the consult, all i was thinking is how lucky i was.

Even if the realization came too late.   You see, my mom was depressed for 7 years.  Yes, she was difficult.  Yes, she would cry.  Yes, she would not want to get up and take a bath.  Yes, i always thought that she was a shadow of her previous self.  

But at least my mom was there. 

As i ended the consult and left, i said to the daughter, "she is lucky to have you, i will pray for your family.  And mom!" Who incidentally had the same name as mine.

So in celebration of motherhood, i give my appreciation and celebration to all the mothers out there.

And to those kids with moms, give them a hug now. :) 

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As a side note, i was amazed to find out that let it be, one of my favorite songs, was written by paul mccartney for his mom who was really named mary.  But amazingly, that song is for everyone who believes in mama mary. :)