thoughts and traffic

I am now driving in traffic.  For three hours. In the traffic, i have read my emails, listened to meditation exercises.  And i am still here.  

Thoughts are playing in my head.  So with my ipad on the steering wheel, i now write my whirlpool of thoughts.  And the topic is faith.

I used to think that walking closely with the lord was a progression of stages or some grade or competency level to be reached.  For example, if i reach grade 1, no one can take that away from me. All i have to do is to work on reaching grade 2.

However, as i seek to find god more, i realize that it really isnt a grade thing. It is a constant reminder thing.  As such, it is really helpful you surround oneself with people you can talk these things over with. Or blog about it!!!

I hope that my faith is better. But if there is one thing i learned from my experience with cutie, it tales constant work. One cannot just assume that if a relationship lasts longer, it takes more work but the rewards are greater. I think it is also the same with the relationship with the lord.

I think i am growing in faith because i feel more happy and centered.  I think i love more.  I still have occasional bouts of self-pity but i think that it is less.  I can even journal in the middle of this hellish traffic and i have been directionlessly driving for 3 hours now.  A least i have me time.

I hope i walking the right way. :)  or driving the right way.  Kahit na traffic.